When you are ready to file for divorce or you get served with a petition for divorce there are important decisions to make. Initially, many people must figure out where they are going to be living during the divorce and who is going to be responsible for bills, childcare, and general decision making. While many arrangements are temporarily determined at the Temporary Orders Hearing, some decisions will need to be made immediately.
When you are ready to file for divorce or you get served with a petition for divorce there are important decisions to make. Initially, many people must figure out where they are going to be living during the divorce and who is going to be responsible for bills, childcare, and general decision making. While many arrangements are temporarily determined at the Temporary Orders Hearing, some decisions will need to be made immediately. In a recent
divorce podcast Mark Scroggins spoke about certain challenges facing full-time homemakers who may not have access to accounts or information they may need to manage on their own with or without the children as the divorce begins. Mark states that this is when he tells people they need to be tough and remove your emotions and think about the divorce like a business.
Is your goal to punish your soon to be ex or work toward a new life?
Some people love to fight and thrive on drama in their relationships. While most people would not suggest that they feel that way, we do recognize there can be a thrill in victory. The cost of victory however, is the battle and it can take its toll on everyone in the family. How we conduct ourselves in divorce can serve as a good example for the rest of the family about how we deal with conflict and resolve disputes, sometimes agreeing to disagree. If, however, your goal is to punish the other person for failing you, it may be sending the wrong message to others, especially your children.
Downsizing without your children feeling like they are inches from the streets
When the family income is divided and the expenses multiplied by the necessity of separate housing, it can be necessary to reduce the style of living to which you and your children may be accustomed. Depending on the age of children, changes can lead to anxiety, particularly when it involves moving from a large home to a smaller home or even a condo or apartment. Children may not understand that reducing overhead does not mean there is a financial emergency. In many divorce cases a mental health therapist can be helpful in talking to families about the changes in life and what they mean to everyone; even a few sessions can help put families at ease.
How much are you willing to pay to fight for what you believe you deserve?
There is a story young lawyers hear about from time to time, a divorce case involving a boat. The wife wanted nothing more than to be awarded possession of the boat in their divorce. The husband loved the boat and the two spent the combined value of the boat fighting over who would get the boat. The wife won the boat and immediately put it up for sale. She had never driven a boat, had nowhere to keep a boat, and after the divorce ended up selling the boat for one dollar, to spite her ex-husband. The lesson of the story is that the money spent fighting over the boat could have paid for several semesters of college for the children, or any other worthwhile expense.
For more thoughts about difficult decision making and divorce planning, contact Scroggins Law Group.