Listen to Reclamation Transformation with Dallas Family Law Attorney Mark Scroggins for inspirational and candid discussions on topics relating to family law from the perspective of real people. And without any overwhelming lawyer-speak so you can remember that change starts with you and remember to make your mark.
Mark 0:00
Hey everybody, welcome to another edition of the Reclamation Transformation podcast that is sponsored by Scroggins Law Group. I am here today with one of my favorite former clients, Mike Boylston. Mike, how are you doing?
Mike 0:21
Doing well. Nice to see you, Mark.
Mark 0:23
Thank you. Good to see you. Mike was a pleasure to, to represent. We hit it off, I think, really well. But one of the things that I wanted to talk about was kind of how that came to being. And it’s, it’s interesting how people are put into our lives for a reason or a season and that kind of divine inspiration that puts people together. So also, I want to mention that Mike just has, it’s amazing. The way you have blossomed after, you know, going through an incredibly dark period in life. Yeah. So
Mike 1:01
Well, I remember I was served on a Friday. It was a Friday evening, actually. And I had 10 days to find an attorney and I didn’t know who to turn to. I had no idea. And I was praying for help. And it was on a Sunday, I remember. And I met a guy by the name of Jim, who was at my home and Jim’s wife, Meera works for you. And I had told Jim, I was really distraught, told him my story says, well, Meera works for Mark Scroggins, you should give her a call. So he texted Meera. Meera called me, she talked to me for at least two hours on a Sunday, and that was the answer to my prayers. And I’m so thankful that I was able to have you represent me. I can’t imagine anybody else doing that.
Mark 1:49
Well Mike, thank you very much. But that, you know, those, those leaps of faith are so important. I know, for me, I mean, it’s really the reason that I created Scroggins Law Group was so that we could really create that concierge representation for someone where you can walk in and go, “Here are the problems now, Shepherd me through the process and tell me which way is up. What do I do?” Because actually, I mean, by the way society looks at things, you know, looking from the outside in, you know, beautiful family, everything looked great, you’d been a success in every manner of measurement out there but when you get hit with something like this, I mean, it’s hard.
Mike 2:38
Yeah, it’s, it’s something that you’re not prepared for. It’s something that you don’t know how to handle. And I think that uncertainty was what bothered me the most, I didn’t really understand the process. And I remember you and I, talking about the fact that it was going to be a long process, but you’d help me through each step of the way. And you did that. And I learned to put my full trust in you. And you never led me astray. And I was very thankful that you were careful about our money as well, you didn’t allow me to waste money responding to certain letters that might have come from the other attorney, when I might have wanted to fire something back or respond to something and you said, “No, we don’t need to do that. It’s going to take care of itself.” You know, and you were very, very careful with my money. And I really appreciated that, because you obviously knew where it was going. And you knew the process and so I had faith in you, and you didn’t let me down.
Mark 3:34
Well, thanks, Mike. I mean, that is, you know, having been through it myself. It’s hard. I think you and I are very similar in that, you know, we get this fight or flight and we’re not used to being attacked about something, especially when it feels very unjustified. And so I struggle with this personally of, you know, it does not come naturally for me to keep my big mouth shut. But sometimes that’s the best thing we can do.
Mike 3:59
The thing that got me through, and I’m certainly not comparing myself to Christ, but he was also unfairly judged and unfairly, you know, ridiculed, and never spoke a word on his own self defense. And he suffered through all of that for us. And when I think about that, it makes this my problems seem a lot less. And I also saw so many people that had so much less than I did. And when you’re going through that you think your whole world’s ending and in a sense, it kind of is but there’s always something new on the other side and I think that faith in God is what got me through that.
Mark 4:39
Well, let’s talk about that a little bit because as you noticed, I mean, I’ve called this the the Reclamation Transformation podcast, and that’s something that’s really important to me, because, you know, despite what it looks like from the outside, okay, you know, however society may judge us as you know, having it all or having this or having that, what’s important is being able to how we can look in the mirror and be happy with who we are. And we all go through dark times. And so I know how much you relied on your faith and specifically Catholicism. For you in getting through what was one of the darkest places in your time in your life, and I know that I’ve had to go through, you know, things as well, where that’s what I have relied on not Catholicism, but my personal relationship with God and so, I want to talk about that a little bit, because I think that’s something that, you know, I think there are a lot of folks out there that ridicule you for, you know, being spiritual or believing in God, if you’re not, you know, an atheist, you should at least be an agnostic, or else you’re some sort of an idiot. And I don’t agree with that at all, I think that that is the source of strength that propels me in the direction that I feel bold. So – and I think that you’re very similar.
Mike 6:01
I really believe so. And I believe that our Lord sends trials to people in order to test their love for him, and you know, what, father doesn’t admonish a son that needs correction. I think, you know, maybe I needed some humility, maybe I needed that, maybe I needed to go through that. A lot of times, you don’t see that until after the fact and you look back on it doesn’t make any sense when you’re going through it. And then when you get back, you say, oh, okay, now I understand God’s plan. I was telling you the story of a young man, I was helping in prison. And he had been confined to solitary confinement, because he was a risk to himself. He was in a rubber room for six weeks, Naked, with just a hole in the ground, and all it was one sign on the wall. And the sign said, You don’t know that God’s all you need, until God’s all you have, and I think that sometimes what God does is he takes all the distractions of the world away, the money, the fame, all of the things you’ve built up to humble you so he can rebuild you into what he created you to be in the first place.
Mark 7:13
Well, and I think you’re a, you’re a wonderful example of that because we were just talking about this beforehand, that if we would have had a conversation, you know, two years ago and said, where you’re going to be now after coming out on the other side, You wouldn’t have thought this would ever happen.
Mike 7:30
As you know, are about a year after our divorce was final. My oldest son was killed in a car accident right on top of that, yeah. And so I went through a couple of years, there were days Mark, I couldn’t even get out of bed. There were days where I was suicidal, there was days where, like, I couldn’t even see the end of this. I was so confused and dazed. And when you get to that point, God is all you have left. And when you turn to God, and you finally say, “Look, I need to put my faith in you.” Then things started to get better. On his timeline, not mine.
Mark 8:09
Yeah. It’s amazing how that works.
Mike 8:11
Yeah I had gone to a psychiatrist. And he said that I was exhibiting every, everything that he sees in PTSD patients was the same thing between the divorce and the death of my son that happened within there about a two to two year period where it was really, really, really dark. You know, I’d break down ya know once a day, call my mother at three o’clock in the morning, ready to pull my hair out You know? So, yeah, I mean, it got really rough for a while. But the good news is things do get better.
Mark 8:47
Well, and that is my experience, too. I don’t know if we, I don’t remember if we talked about it or not. But you know, I’ve been in recovery for a number of years. And so I have I have that experience, too and it wasn’t until, you know, I kind of had a foxhole prayer of, you know, okay, I don’t care what happens. But you, you lead, and I will follow and it doesn’t mean that I’m always great at following you know, it’s not it’s incredibly linear. A lot of the time it’s like that sometimes. But when I can get out of the way and do what I think I am kind of led by the feeling I get in my gut, and when I can follow that. It’s amazing how life goes, you know, when I get to be of service to people and the joy that comes from that. So it is, it is so incredibly rewarding for me to hear somebody that I have represented professionally and then gotten to know on a personal basis and I’ve seen the experience that you had there. But then, even better, I see what I told you that, “Hey, just wait, just wait. It’s all going to get better.” And you came in today and you had the big ol Cheshire Cat grin on your face, you know, and it’s good. You look good man. And looks like life is being good to you.
Mike 10:11
Things are definitely looking up I’ll say that.
Mark 10:13
Well, let’s talk a little bit about that. Because you, you had been a chief marketing officer for some big companies in the past and you’re back, you’re back to doing that.
Mike 10:24
Been out of the game for 10 years and went back to work about a year and a half ago with a good friend of mine who called me out of retirement. And so I’m now Chief Marketing Officer for Old Glory bank. We’re a new bank startup. We’ll be launching our website in late April. This spring, we’re in the process of testing it right now. And so it’s a very exciting new career.
Mark 10:48
Man, I can tell you that I am so excited for you. I mean, you deserve it with everything that you went through. And the thing that was so remarkable to me, I mean, you know, every time that the biggest challenge for me when I’m going through a really hard time is not to be a complete jackass to everybody around me. And sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I don’t. And there’s someone who saw me come out of one of those a couple of months ago, where, you know, I wasn’t terribly pleasant to be around but I got to make amends to folks for the manner in which I had treated folks and got to tell them that I was wrong but then coming out on the, the other side was was, you know, totally different.
Mike 11:40
I’ve been guilty of that, too.
Mark 11:41
So it’s a, it’s just a whole different thing. So I was so proud to see and to hear, you know, how life is treating you and to see the way you are now. But the way you really went through that hard time of divorce, with a level of grace that I don’t see, a lot of people go through, you know, we had heated conversations and how it seemed like, you know, you were being persecuted for stuff that was complete bullshit, you know. And still the way you, you held your head up and walked through that, knowing that, okay, it’s all gonna work out in the end. You know, and it did.
Mike 12:27
Right. And I think our family is starting to heal, too. We have five children. Last night, my ex wife and I were together with our grandkids At Shogun, which we had always done for my son, Steven. And we can actually be civil with each other. And so the family’s starting to heal, which I’m glad to see. I certainly have no hatred for her. I have no hard feelings over that, you know, I don’t I just want to move on and have the family heal. And I wish I could go back to the way it was, but it’s not going to. But I am enjoying my freedom. I still love my ex wife. We just can’t live together you know, that’s all I don’t, but I have no hatred for her whatsoever.
Mark 13:13
Now, that’s, that’s good. It’s funny, because I got divorced from my first wife when my daughter was five, and my daughter is now 25. And, you know, it’s amazing after you get through. For us anyway, after you got through that, that first year and a half of you know, trying to heal a lot of the great hurt. You know, we had our ups and downs, but we, we definitely got along. I mean, so my daughter was a big volleyball player, and, you know, and played club volleyball. And so we still sat together in the stands. And there were a lot of people that had no idea that we’d actually been divorced for a period of time. So it’s amazing, those little miracles that, that happen when everything starts to heal.
Mike 13:58
Well, it’s still a little frosty. I mean, of course, I’ve seen her twice since Christmas. But you know, at least we’re not avoiding each other. So I’m gonna count that as a win.
Mark 14:09
Hey, that, you know, you’ve got to take what you can get. So you used to be involved in D-BAT, which a lot of a lot of people who have kids yeah, baseball players coming up.
Mike 14:22
I own D-BAT in Allen. Our famed – claim to fame is Kyler Murray, who worked out there for baseball since he was a sophomore in high school and his family. So I really enjoyed that for 11 years. Actually, we just sold it. We closed on the business about two weeks ago now. So I finally sold the business and time to move on.
Mark 14:26
Yeah. Well, it sounds like this is a fantastic new challenge and a new chapter of life that has opened before you and is exciting to watch it play out.
Mike 14:53
I’m heading down to San Antonio this weekend to see my three grandchildren. And so I’m really enjoying the grandchildren now.
Mark 15:04
Well you deserve it.
Mike 15:05
Luckily all of our kids were older. So we didn’t hit. We had been married 42 years, the kids were up and grown. And you know, so 42 years is still a pretty good run. Right? That’s not a bad run.
Mark 15:17
Absolutely it is. Well, Mike, I want to thank you for being here today. And joining me in these early sessions of the Reclamation Transformation and remember, change starts with you. So leave your Mark.
